How can you help a child recognise whom to ask for help when they are away from home? Whether a child is at a playground, in a shopping centre, at school or attending a community event, knowing how to identify trusted people can support safer participation and greater confidence.
Children do not automatically understand who is safe to approach in every situation. They may assume that every adult is trustworthy, feel unsure about asking for help, or struggle to remember what to do when they are worried. Teaching these skills gradually, through simple explanations and everyday practice, can help children make safer choices without making them fearful of everyone around them.
Step 1: Explain What a Trusted Person Means
Begin with a clear, age-appropriate explanation. A trusted person is someone a child knows has a responsibility to care for them or someone their parent or caregiver has specifically identified as safe to approach for help.
Examples may include:
- A parent or regular caregiver.
- A teacher or school staff member the child has been introduced to.
- A known relative who is part of the family’s care arrangements.
- A designated staff member at a community activity.
- A uniformed or clearly identified official who can help in an emergency, depending on the situation.
Explain that trust is not decided only by how friendly, familiar or helpful someone appears. A person may smile, offer a gift or say they know the family, but these things do not automatically make that person safe.
Use simple language and repeat the main idea over time: “If you need help, go to a trusted person we have talked about, or ask an appropriate helper in an emergency.”
Step 2: Create a Trusted-People Plan
Work with your child to identify people they can approach in familiar places. The plan should be specific rather than relying on a general instruction such as “Find a good adult.”
For example, a family might identify the child’s teacher at school, a designated activity leader during a class, and a parent or caregiver at the playground.
You can create a simple list or picture chart showing:
- The person’s name or role.
- Where the child usually sees them.
- How the child can recognise them.
- What the child can say when asking for help.
For younger children or children who benefit from visual support, use photographs, simple drawings or symbols. Review the plan when routines change, a child joins a new activity or a familiar person is no longer responsible for their care.
Avoid teaching the child to trust someone solely because they are wearing a particular uniform. Explain that uniforms and roles can help identify a possible helper, but children should still follow the family’s safety plan and remain alert to the situation.
Step 3: Teach Simple Phrases for Asking for Help
Children may know that they need help but struggle to explain what has happened. Practise a few short phrases they can use in different situations.
Examples include:
- “I need help finding my teacher.”
- “I can’t find my parent.”
- “I feel unsafe. Please help me.”
- “Can you take me to the staff member at the information desk?”
- “I need to call my parent or caregiver.”
If your child uses gestures, picture cards, a communication device or another method to communicate, include that method in the plan. The child does not need to rely only on spoken language to ask for help.
Practise calmly during ordinary routines. You might pretend that a favourite toy has gone missing and invite your child to explain whom they would ask for help. Keep practice short and supportive, and praise the child for trying.
Step 4: Practise What to Do in Common Community Situations
Children need opportunities to apply safety rules to different environments. Use pretend play and discussion rather than relying only on verbal reminders.
At a playground
Explain what the child should do if they cannot see their caregiver. Depending on the setting, the plan might be to stay in a clearly agreed safe place and approach a designated staff member or another appropriate helper. Practise the exact steps before visiting a new playground.
In a shopping centre
Identify a familiar meeting point and explain how to ask for help if separated. A child may be taught to approach an information desk or designated security staff member rather than wandering through the building looking for family members.
For younger children, explain that they should not leave the building with someone who offers to find their parent. The helper can assist them in contacting the caregiver or following the agreed procedure.
At school or an organised activity
Help the child identify the teacher, activity leader or other staff member responsible for their group. Practise what to say if they feel unwell, become separated from the group or need help with another child.
During an unexpected change
A class may move to another room, an activity may finish early or the usual caregiver may be delayed. Explain what the child should do when the routine changes and which adult is responsible for giving them new instructions.
Repeat these examples over time, because knowing a rule in a quiet conversation does not guarantee that a child will remember it when upset or confused.
Step 5: Teach Boundaries and Permission-Seeking
Identifying trusted people is only one part of community safety. Children also need simple rules about personal boundaries, unexpected requests and changes to agreed plans.
Teach your child that they can:
- Say no to unwanted touch or an uncomfortable request.
- Move away from a situation that feels unsafe, when possible.
- Tell a trusted caregiver if someone asks them to keep a worrying secret.
- Ask a parent or caregiver before going somewhere with someone or accepting an unexpected offer.
- Keep practising how to get help if the first person they approach does not respond.
Explain the difference between a pleasant surprise and a secret that makes them feel frightened, confused or uncomfortable. Children should know they can tell a trusted caregiver about something worrying, even if someone has told them not to talk about it.
Avoid suggesting that a child is responsible for preventing every unsafe situation. Adults and organisations have responsibilities for children’s safety. The purpose of teaching these skills is to give children practical options for seeking help, not to place the burden of safety entirely on them.
Step 6: Use Visuals, Repetition and Positive Practice
Some children remember information more easily when it is shown visually or practised in small steps. You can make a simple safety sequence:
- Stop: Pause and look around if you realise you are separated or unsure.
- Stay safe: Follow the agreed plan for that location rather than wandering off.
- Find help: Approach the designated trusted person or appropriate helper.
- Explain: Use words, gestures or a communication aid to say what you need.
- Wait safely: Follow the agreed instructions while the helper contacts your caregiver or responsible adult.
Adapt this sequence to your child’s age, communication abilities and the environments they visit. For a child who finds multi-step instructions difficult, teach one step at a time and use a picture cue for each step.
Role-play should remain calm and reassuring. Do not frighten the child with dramatic stories or surprise them with realistic “stranger tests.” Instead, discuss what to do, practise together and gradually repeat the skill in familiar settings.
Step 7: Check Understanding Without Turning It into a Test
Rather than repeatedly asking, “Do you understand?”, use practical questions:
- “If you cannot find me in the shop, what will you do?”
- “Who is the person you can ask for help at your activity?”
- “What could you say if you need help?”
- “What would you do if someone asked you to leave with them without checking with me?”
If your child gives an incomplete answer, treat it as information about what needs more practice. Model the response, practise together and ask again another time.
Observe whether the child can use the skill during ordinary activities, not only during a conversation at home. Some children may need reminders, visual prompts or adult support for a long time. That is a reason to adapt the plan, not to blame the child.
Working With School and Community Activity Staff
Consistency between home and other settings can help children remember safety routines. Share the plan with relevant teachers, caregivers or activity leaders, and confirm who is responsible for the child during transitions, collection and unexpected changes.
Useful questions include:
- Which staff member should the child approach if they need help?
- How are children supervised during transitions and outdoor activities?
- What is the procedure if a child becomes separated from their group?
- How are changes to collection arrangements communicated?
- Does the child need a visual reminder or another communication support?
For children who have difficulty communicating under pressure, agree on a clear method for signalling that they need help. Staff should know how to respond and whom to contact.
Helping Children Participate With Confidence
Learning to identify trusted people is an ongoing skill. It develops through clear explanations, repeated practice and adults who respond calmly when children ask questions or report concerns.
Start with the places your child visits most often, identify the appropriate helpers together and practise a few simple phrases. Review the plan when routines change, and continue supervising in ways that match your child’s age and needs.
Neurobloom Rehabilitation Centre supports children’s development through services that include occupational therapy, speech therapy and child development assessments. Families who have concerns about communication, daily independence or participation in community routines can contact the centre to ask whether its services are suitable for their child’s individual needs.
The goal is not to make children afraid of the world. It is to help them recognise where to seek support, communicate when something is wrong and participate in everyday community life with appropriate preparation and adult guidance.
